Saturday, January 29, 2011

Neither here nor there...

I remember the first time I came back to South Africa for furlough/holiday/vacation/sabbatical/whatever you want to call it... I felt like I was neither here nor there. I wanted to even write a book called "neither here nor there" about the experience (and still may one day!). This strange "reverse culture shock" is still the case, although I find myself being better at adjusting between the two: it is like a switch in my head goes on here and I act more South African: go barefoot, not stress about going out with wet hair, put my handbag on the floor amongst other things. And the same goes when I go back...

But, when I am here I miss there and when I am there I miss here... it is hard. Luckily, part of what I am doing while I am in South Africa is sharing my life in Bosnia to people here*, and so I get to share and talk about what goes on there, so it is a part of me here. (and of course in Bosnia people ask me all the time about my life in SA so the same goes there). 

Also, people usually ask me where is "home": well, I say I am going "home" to South Africa when I am in Bosnia, and now I find myself thinking that I will be going "home" to Bosnia in 5 weeks... so both are "home" and neither...I am neither here nor there... I guess the best answer is that home is ultimately not here in this life, on this earth... And actually we are all neither here nor there...


*If you are in Cape Town and interested in finding out more about what I am doing: there will be a Bosnian Evening at Claremont Methodist Church on the 22nd of February at 7pm...

2 comments:

Jukka said...

Interesting thoughts, Belinda. And it's so true that our real home is in the God's will.

Brook said...

wow,
You have described the paradox of our lives so well. Thanks for writing it so clearly.
Decisions are so hard, to know where "home" is, to feel out of place. It is a blessing to be able to share about where you work, it keeps it close.
thanks

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